My Journey to a Home Birth: A Personal Story of Empowerment and Support

Embracing the Experience of Pregnancy and Birth

For those that have been here for a while, you’ll know that I’ve had some complications with pregnancy in the past. I was diagnosed with Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome at 33 weeks with my first pregnancy, which resulted in an emergency C-section. While the surgery itself was fairly straightforward and without complications, the experience leading up to it and the lack of care and support afterwards was hugely traumatic.

I wanted to feel more in control and supported during my next birth, so I began to consider a home birth. My next pregnancy ended at 14 weeks with a TFMR (termination for medical reasons). Instead of feeling held and supported by healthcare professionals, I felt like a burden—a number on a list to get through and send home.

I was hugely anxious during my pregnancy with Rowen. Given my lack of faith in the hospital, planning a home birth and declining some aspects of care made me feel more in control and comfortable. Despite all our planning, the night I went into labour, they were unable to facilitate a home birth for us. In that moment, I felt more comfortable going into hospital than I did staying at home and trying to manage without midwives. I ended up having a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean), which was intervention-free and left me feeling empowered because I was in control and made the decisions that were right for me at that time.

Preparing for Another Home Birth

I knew before we even got pregnant that I wanted to plan another home birth. In the 2+ years since Rowen’s birth, I completed my antenatal teacher training and my birth trauma therapy training. I understood much more about the research, guidelines, risks, and how they may impact me than I had in my previous births.

Despite my ‘high risk’ label, I felt confident in my knowledge and my body. I declined consultant-led care, growth scans, and the GD (gestational diabetes) test. Unlike in my pregnancy with Rowen, I had a fabulous midwife who I saw for all but one of my appointments. She fully supported and encouraged me to continue planning my home birth.

Interestingly, the one appointment I had with a different midwife was the same appointment where my fundal height measurement (bump size) was tracking ‘differently’, and a growth scan was recommended. I wasn’t concerned and declined the scan. The following appointment with my normal midwife showed that my bump was measuring on the same line as it always had been. The difference? A different midwife who measures slightly differently, which threw the entire chart off.

The Journey to Labour

Rowen was born at 41+3, so I always expected a longer gestation. With this in mind, I was firm that I did not want to discuss inductions or interventions unless I reached 42 weeks. I made it clear that if something changed, I would reassess and go from there. My pregnancy overall was smooth, and I had no issues or concerns at any point.

40 weeks came and went, and my midwife wasn't bothered in the slightest. I declined induction and CTG monitoring but opted for Doppler scans at 41+4, 42+2, and 42+4 (the day she was born). Doppler scans assess how well the placenta is functioning and potentially pick up on any issues. After my first Doppler scan, I agreed to see a consultant to discuss my plan and what I wanted to do going forward. I wasn’t concerned, and it felt like a tick box exercise.

As I knew they would, the consultant discussed the risks and encouraged me to have an induction. I was aware of the risks (which were very small overall) and happy with the scan and baby’s movements, so I declined. Our plan was to wait for the baby to be born; there was no ‘end date’ unless something changed that impacted the safety of the baby. I was comfortable with my decision, but I must admit that I wasn’t terribly comfortable physically and was really starting to feel it!

Because of this, I accepted a sweep on Monday at 42+2—completely my choice, as I was getting anxious and uncomfortable. However, I was close to 4cm dilated, and the midwife said my membranes were hardly even attached, so in hindsight, I'm not sure it did anything at all.

The Start of Contractions

Tuesday morning, I woke up around 4:30 with some contractions that were about every 15 to 20 minutes apart. While manageable, I couldn't get back into a proper sleep with them. Throughout Tuesday, they ranged from 5 minutes apart for periods to 45/60 minutes apart but never felt like they were increasing in intensity.

My older two children came home from holiday club Tuesday evening, and everything slowed down even more. I probably only had 4 or 5 contractions between 6 PM and the next morning. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling really disheartened and unsure of what to do. While I knew I wasn’t going to be pregnant forever, I was struggling with the uncertainty of when it might happen and what could potentially go wrong.

I had another Doppler scan booked for 4:30 that afternoon. I decided that if contractions picked back up, we wouldn't go to the scan; but if they didn’t, we would go. I really didn’t want to hinder any progress by going into the hospital, where I knew I would feel anxious and pressured to stay.

I went to see the amazing Pete for craniosacral therapy around noon, hoping it might help things start to get going again. During our session, it felt like he got the baby to pop up a bit and shift. I had four pretty powerful tightening contractions in the last 25 minutes! I had a couple more walking back to the car and during the drive home, but they petered out once I got home.

In hindsight, things were definitely happening, but in that moment, I felt quite defeated. My husband and I went for a slow walk in the sunshine, where I had a big cry, and we talked through all our options and feelings, which was quite cathartic. For my own anxiety, we went to the scan, and all was good.

I knew I didn't want to speak to a consultant, as nothing had changed, and all they would want to do was try to convince me to have an induction. I grabbed the first midwife we saw to let her know we were leaving, and I think she almost had a heart attack when she saw I was 42+4, declining consultant review, and still planning a home birth! She tried to get me to stay and see a consultant, and when I kept saying no, she informed me that they MAY have staffing issues, which would mean they couldn't facilitate an MLU/home birth if I went into labour that night.

I told her I'd free birth and call the ambulance, which was totally worth it just to see her face! 😅 I’m sure there were some discussions that took place in the staff room once we’d left!

The Final Hours Before Birth

We headed home, got the kids from camp, and did our normal evening routine—all without a whiff of contractions. I took my 3-year-old up just after 7 PM for teeth, stories, and bed. About 5 minutes after we turned the lights off (we cuddle to sleep), I had my first proper, intense contraction. It hit me like a truck, and I had to really breathe through it while lying on a floor bed and trying to be quiet so he would fall asleep!

Five minutes later, another one followed, and I felt like I was already struggling to manage. I got out of his room shortly thereafter, and by 8 PM, they were consistently 4-5 minutes apart, and I was having to stop and breathe through them. I spent about 20 minutes in denial, saying there was no way this was it after everything, before starting to panic as it was progressing so quickly.

I had a lovely birth team—my husband Rich and my sister Meg—who got the TENS machine on me and started filling the birth pool. Someone phoned Vicky (my business partner and one of my best friends), and she made her way over. Through every contraction, one of them was there to offer a hand to hold (squeeze!), counter pressure, a drink, a cool cloth, or just a gentle calming touch. I couldn’t tell you who did what or when, but it was amazing having them surround me and knowing they were there with me.

They let the midwives and our birth photographer know and supported me on the birth ball with some counter pressure until the pool was ready. The relief was incredible when I got in; I can't even explain it. I was using the comb, breathing, and some counter pressure to manage through the majority of contractions.

The midwives arrived at some point and were very good—they read my birth preferences, stuck to them, and stayed in the other room for the most part. I hardly saw them at all!

The Birth Experience

I started off on my hands and knees in the pool, leaning over the side, as that felt best. I got to a point where I was not enjoying that position and switched to lying back but facing the side, spending the rest of labour like that. I had been managing with breathing, but at some point, I asked for gas and air. I half used it and half just breathed around the mouthpiece, which I found helpful to steady my breath.

I felt the point where I moved into transition and started to actively push and bear down during each contraction. I could feel her moving down through the birth canal. I was able to breathe through each contraction (rather than force push), and I felt like my body was doing most of the work on its own.

I felt her move down, which I didn't in my previous birth, and I was able to put my hand down and start to feel her head. It gave me the boost I needed, and it was incredible to keep my hand there and feel her head slowly progress out. There was a point where I felt her bob back up a bit, and I just thought to myself, "Nope, we're not having that!" I was able to keep breathing through each contraction and was fairly certain I had the fetal ejection reflex as her head popped out and her body came immediately after, with no pause really.

I had a few seconds of breathing—it felt like I needed to come back to myself a bit—before reaching down and starting to slowly bring her up. She was so long that her legs and feet were still inside, and I had to pull her out! She looked just like Rowen, my second-born (boy), so I assumed she was a boy and was very surprised 5 minutes later when we actually checked and she was a girl! 🙈😅

We were happily snuggling in the pool when Ophelia woke up and came downstairs. The awe in her eyes when she got to see her baby sister still in the pool with her cord attached was amazing. She was SO happy that the baby was a girl—although she was a bit disgruntled that we didn't go with her name choice of Uni the Unicorn.

The placenta came out about 10 minutes later, and we moved to the couch shortly thereafter for snuggles and to continue delayed cord clamping. My placenta was massive and so healthy-looking with a double node. The midwives were amazed that it didn't 'look like a 42-week placenta.' They were used to the message that your placenta just up and dies at 42 weeks, so they expected it to be all calcified and dying, but it wasn’t.

It was probably about 45 minutes after she was born when we cut the cord. It was so special as Ophelia got to help her dad cut it—something I hope she’ll always remember. We had a lovely cord tie made by my sister, and we tied that on instead of using a clamp.

After about an hour, I was still passing quite big clots and bleeding, so I was happy to accept the shot at that point. Not long later, a bit of the membrane came away, and then the bleeding slowed completely once it was out. I had a slight labial tear that needed no stitches, and nothing else. I found recovery so easy this time.

The most humbling moment of my birth came when the midwives were checking me for any tears, and Ophelia was watching. She loudly said, "Your vagina doesn't look like a vagina anymore, mummy!" Thanks, kid—that's what happens when you push out an almost 10lb baby! 😅

The Support That Made It Possible

The midwives helped clean up a bit, and after they did all their checks, they headed off pretty quickly. Rich settled Ophelia back to sleep, and shortly thereafter, we were tucked up into bed with some tea and toast before getting some sleep ourselves. It was just over 4 hours from that first proper contraction to when she was born, which I wasn't expecting, as my second was probably closer to 14 hours!

It was an amazing birth, and I'm so glad I held my ground and waited rather than agreeing to an induction. There's a time and place for interventions, and you need to know and understand the risks and how they relate to your situation in order to make the decision that feels best for you. This was definitely the right decision for us. After our turbulent pregnancy and birth experiences previously, this was the best way to end our journey to becoming parents.

I don't think I could have done it without the incredible support I had around me. Rich being there was always a given, and I don't think there was a moment that he left my side or stopped encouraging me. Having my sister Meg with me was so amazing. Given that she lives so far away in Canada, we never expected to share an experience like this. She absolutely got me through the last weeks and days of pregnancy.

There is something so magical about knowing she was there for the birth of her niece, and I hope Meg will share the story with her as she gets older.

Myself and Vicky have been through so much over the last few years. Despite having her own three babies at home and work in the morning, she was there to support me and watch the final Beyond the Bump baby enter the world. I remember a moment where I said, "I can't do this," and Vicky held me and said, "You ARE doing this, and you can keep doing this."

I have no doubt my birth could have looked very different if she hadn't been there to help curb that panic. I will never forget that feeling of her strength and knowing she understood exactly what I was experiencing. She had complete faith in me and my body to birth my baby. There are no words to express how thankful I am to have her in my life—and my children's lives.

I also had the incredible privilege of having Lauren photograph and document the entire birth. Unbeknownst to us, she was also pregnant at the time and struggling with sickness and tiredness (thanks, first trimester!), but she pushed through it all to give us the most amazing photos. She moved around the room so quietly that I never knew where she was, and it was such a surprise seeing the photos and what she was able to capture. They are all beautiful, and I will treasure them forever. I am so grateful she was able to make it work.

The entire experience left me feeling so empowered and strong. My recovery and postpartum have been completely different this time around. She has just slotted into our lives, and in a way, it feels like she's always been here. ❤️

Bryony Harper Dunne

August 6th, 2025, at 11:59 PM

9lbs 14oz of absolute perfection

If you are considering a home birth then The Birth Preparation Programme will perfectly support you with understanding your rights, advocating for yourself & preparing for any changes.

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