Vicky's Positive Homebirth Story

It's taken me a really long time to write this birth story, I have felt such a range of emotions about the pregnancy, birth, labour, feeding, postpartum, managing life with 3 that I didn't feel like I had the words.

To give a bit of context before going into my birth story, I have had a long & tricky fertility journey to get to where I am today, which includes ectopic pregnancies, tests, operations, IVF & 3 Hyperemesis Pregnancies.

My eldest was born 3 weeks into the first Covid lockdown in 2020, I felt like choices were taken away from me, that the system had no idea what was going on (thanks Covid) & that support was no where to be seen. Maible was born in Warwick hospital after a failed induction (induced because it was an IVF pregnancy...spoiler alter, that is NOT a reason to induce!), waters being artificially ruptured, back to back labour, epidural & Maible been born sunny side up like you see on TV, on my back, legs in the air & all dignity had well and truly gone out the window, after birth we both had an infection & then struggled with tongue tie.

Fast forward to my 2nd birth, it was the time between my first & second baby's that I trained to become an Antenatal Teacher, I understood my options, knew the research & trusted by body - don't get me wrong, I was worried I 'wouldn't be able to do it' as I'd previously had an epidural but this time I knew I wanted different. I planned a homebirth (which was met with lots of push back and challenges along the way), but I did it, I had the most incredibly magical birth, 4 hours of labour, I delivered Axyll myself in the water, bringing him up to my chest for our wonderful golden hour, we were both tucked up in bed by 11pm and I felt like fucking super woman! Our breastfeeding journey was super easy with no challenges and we waltzed into life with 2 under 2 like a dream. I felt utterly blessed (and a bit smug).

Cue baby number #3.

I'd always wanted 3 children, and after that magical 2nd birth I desperately wanted another birth. Faced with another Hyperemesis pregnancy (severe sickness from about 4 weeks until birth) & two other children 4 & 2, to say I was knackered would be an understatement. I had heard that third births could be tricky but I fully trusted my body and I choose not to tune into that narrative. I suffered physically and emotionally in my pregnancy but I armed myself with the best care from 3 of Warwickshires best therapists who kept me on track (Ben from Kenilworth Chiropractors, Jojo Norris - if you haven't had a Jojo massage then you're seriously missing out, and finally Pete Nicolls from Function Therapy, also known as magic Pete in the baby world & I now know why, now a great friend, Pete is one of the most incredibly talented, and supportive humans you could have on your side - genuine gold).

Throughout my pregnancy Baby Morgan was sitting very low, having been engaged very early on in my pregnancy, from around 26 weeks I was experiencing intense Braxton Hicks & no one thought I would get to full term. I'm sharing this next bit to hopefully give you an insight into the importance of a calm and relaxing pregnancy - when I hit 37 weeks of pregnancy, we had a string of bad luck - all of which caused me an incredible amount of anxiety, I was struggling to sleep or eat and felt constantly sick to my stomach with worry - despite always thinking that the baby would arrive early, I knew the baby wasn't going to arrive anytime soon with how I was feeling, and I was right. Once I hit 40 weeks of pregnancy I completely had to tune out of everything, I cancelled midwife appointments, didn't work, turned my phone off, and only did things that improved my self care. It was time to focus on me. I had a couple of weeks of stop start contractions, feeling things getting going and then teetering off, which I knew baby was doing everything he/she needed to do, although that doesn't make it any less annoying ha!

On Wednesday 20th November, I had been having stop start contractions all day, and I knew baby was going to arrive very soon, the birth pool was up and everything was ready to go. I knew I was in labour and that I needed to distract my brain from the contractions so we picked the kids up to take them to McDonalds for dinner (fun when you're in labour ha!) and in true fashion, the story of my life those last few weeks, our car tyre got a nail in it so later that evening I was on the phone to the tyre guy in between contractions. Once the older two were in bed I decided to have an early night, my intuition told me I needed to get as much sleep as possible whilst I could - I knew I would be in labour by the morning.

At 1am I was awoken by extremely strong contractions, I never timed them but knew they were coming thick and fast, I attempted to leave Max to sleep whilst I paced the room but my huffing and puffing soon woke him up. At 2am I knew I needed to be in my birth space, so we headed downstairs to setup the birth environment. I popped on my TENS machine whilst Max got my aromatherapy oils on, my birth playlist on, my coping tools out (Accucomb, Roller Ball, Water Spray, Christmas Tree Lights, Pool Fairly Lights & Floating Candles), we then text Adele (thecorbettcreativephotography) to make her way over as Adele had agreed to photograph my birth. Adele arrived around 4am and my labour was in full swing, these are a few of the very first images Adele took - hold onto your socks as you see Adele's images spread across this blog, she is an absolutely INSANE photographer, and the nicest human you could meet, Adele became such a fundamental part of my birth that night, Adele and Max were the perfect birth dream team - and true story, Xavia was born to the song Adele - I Drink Wine, when Max and I were sat on the sofa with Xavia in our arms we had a quick discussion about whether to call Xavia, Xavia Adele Morgan as we were just so moved - we didn't but Adele will always be so special to us.

I've never really timed my contractions but I knew they were coming thick and fast, Max started to fill up the birth pool and I asked him to let the midwives know I was in labour, as expected I was asked to come into Bluebell but Max knew to advocate for me saying I'll be staying at home -at that point I didn't feel like I wanted anyone else in my birthing space so we agreed to call them back when I felt like I needed more support. I had made peace with the fact that if midwives weren't available to come out to me then I would of been happy to freebirth, I had shared this information with the midwives and but knowing this, I always knew they would find the staff to come out to me. At a similar time to this phone call I got the urge to be somewhere small, dark and quiet. I retreated to our downstairs toilet where I was for probably an hour, working through the contractions in my own way.

Things were really intense and I believed I was moving into transition, this coincided with the birth pool being ready. I can't tell you the relief I received from being in the birth pool, I instantly felt lighter and supported, it was a moment of bliss when I needed it the most -I had been in the birth pool for about 5 minutes when we started to hear tiny footsteps from above, my daughter had woken for the day, we had been preparing for this moment and I always thought Maible might be at my birth with me - however, I never planned for what happened next, as soon as Maible & Axyll came downstairs my labour completely stopped. I'm not talking about slowing down or being less intense, I mean completely stopped, contractions just stopped altogether. The kids coped amazingly, they jumped in the birth pool and enjoyed a little swim, they thought it was great fun, I knew this would be my last moment of being a mum of two so we had some gorgeous cuddles and enjoyed this moment together whilst my lovely calming birth playlist was playing in the background. Adele / turned baby sitter, helped get the kids ready for school and nursery whilst I decided to enjoy the break in contractions and went upstairs for a sleep - Max went off to do the drop off's and I enjoyed some rest. It still makes me laugh that Maible went into school and said to the teacher my mummy is having a baby today, and her teacher responded with 'oh, is she in hospital' to which Maible replied 'no she's in the birthing pool in our living room' - like it was just another day, I'll be forever proud that I've had the ability to normalise this way of birthing for my girls.

No longer had the kids been gone, I was rudely woken by an extremely intense contraction, this felt so different though, I have had 2 previous labours so know what contractions feel like, and up until now I was able to call on my hypnobirthing and breath through them, but this was pain, this was an intense pain in my hips and pelvis - I needed to be back in the birthing pool with Max giving me counter pressure on my pelvis. At about 10am I was in need of gas and air so we rang the midwives to come out. Timings get a bit hairy at this point but I believe the midwives arrived about 10:30am - I was probably very direct in saying just give me the gas and air, to which they then realised they had forgotten the mouth piece so it wasn't available to me, to say I was fuming would be an understatement. They called another team to come out and deliver it - I mean, I feel like I could of walked to Bluebell and back quicker but it finally arrived at 12pm!! That felt like the longest 90 minutes of my life, everything was so intense, at some point I remember asking for a Vaginal Examination, I'm not sure why but I think I needed 'something' to give me the nod that I was almost there, my waters hadn't broken at this point and I was 6cm - this wasn't the boost I was looking for and actually it was really demotivating. The next hour was a blur of trying different positions, needing intense counter pressure and blowing bubbles through the pain. Trying to remember that awful saying 'floppy face = floppy fanny'!

Looking back, I was obviously progressing really fast and in transition, as soon as the gas and air arrived I lost myself a little, I was all over the place and saying things like the baby is back to back and I need to have a C-Section! I love gas and air, I don't drink so for me it was like having that feeling of being really drunk but without the crazy hangover, it did make me feel sick, and we can laugh about it after but at one point I couldn't talk, just looked at Adele and then spewed up on the living room rug, you'll be glad to know the rug has gone now haha!

I think at this point my intuition told me I was ready to push but with the niggling doubts of being only 6cm an hour ago I didn't put full trust in my body, I asked for another Vaginal Examination and was told it was too close to the last one, I demanded that they do one, telling them I know the risks, its my body and I'm happy to accept those risks. The next 15/20 minutes was a whirlwind, I jumper out of the pool and had the VE, I was told I was 10cm, whilst the midwife was taking her fingers out my waters broke and then the next contraction hit, I rolled off the sofa onto the floor and started to bare down to birth my baby. In all 3 births I have had to actively push my baby out (I am away of the research suggesting this increases the likelihood of tears, however in all 3 pregnancies I have never experienced a tear, I have had a slight graze in babies 1 and 3 and nothing in baby 2) I have never experienced the feeling of my baby gently being breathed down, at this point for me, the contractions are too intense to be able to just breath it down, it was something I had wanted to do this time round but I didn't, I went with my body and pushed my baby out with the support of my husband by my side. I felt down to feel my baby crowing and to feel my baby entering the world, and for that final push the midwives caught my baby as I think I was in so much shock - the intensity of the last 2 hours had floored me and it took me a few moments to catch my breath.

After a few moments, Max checked the sex, my intuition was girl - as was Maible's and I've always said she has a 6th sense, but then everyone else around me said boy so I had started to sway. Max announced the birth of our third and final baby, another beautiful daughter, Xavia Luna Morgan, 7lb13oz at 12:31pm - my moon baby. My face paints a thousand words, I was in shock. I held my baby on my chest, breathing in her smell and feeling her tiny naked body against mine, soothing her with my words and within 6 minutes before having really registered anything my placenta was birthed. Popping the placenta in a bowl, we moved to the sofa to enjoy our golden hour and to ensure the cord had plenty of time to transfer all of the blood and was completely white, Max cut the cord & we applied a cord tie onto Xavia. Whilst snuggled up I had a few checks and we had our first breastfeed. After about an hour, I kindly asked the midwives to wrap up so we could spend some alone time alone before Max had to pick up the older two, whilst I got myself cleaned up, Max enjoyed some skin to skin time and we captured a few memories with Adele before she left. By 2pm we were snuggled on our sofa, in the safety of our home, and ready to start our life with our fully complete family of 5.

All 3 of my births have been different, I've had two very positive homebirths, which were a dream in comparison to my first induction and hospital birth, but my third birth was long, and hard and took every inch of my being to trust my body, which just shows, you don't become an 'expert' birther - all pregnancies, births and babies are completely different. The biggest difference in all 3 of my births has been the knowledge that has allowed me to understood what's happening and putting trust in my ability to birth. With my first birth I was simply not equipped with the knowledge I needed to, to be able to make informed choices - that birth happened to me and I have felt the impact of that birth since. We often hear people say 'oh you can't plan for birth' and 'it's just one day' but honestly, its not, these memories will give in my entire mind and body forever, my biggest piece of advice to any parent-to-be, regardless of it being your first or tenth, do the work, attend a well informed Antenatal course that isn't just focused on making friends, do a private course, read, watch videos and inspire yourself as it truly can change your entire experience of welcoming your baby into the world.

All my love,

Vicky xo

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